Charlottesville City government’s “dirtiest” word

In the godless, politically correct microcosm known as Charlottesville City government, the term, “Christmas,” is akin to a “four-letter word,” to be avoided in all instances (except one).

The dreaded “C-word” no longer is referenced when the city is soliciting a donated tree to decorate for the Holy day once called “Christmas” and now re-Christened by City government as “The Charlottesville Tradition.”

Note the complete absence of the offensive word (when there were many possible occasions to use it) in this press release from the City’s Department of Disinformation:

City Gears Up for Charlottesville Tradition by Searching for the Perfect Tree

Annual Event will feature Caroling, Santa’s arrival and the Grand Illumination

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VIRGINIA – The Charlottesville Tradition, an annual holiday celebration in the city, will kick off on the historic Downtown Mall, rain, snow or shine on Friday, November 20th.

The grand illumination of the official Charlottesville community tree will be accompanied by a diverse mix of music along with a candlelit caroling ceremony from the Free Expression Monument to Central Place on the Mall. This year, as with other years, the City is asking for the generous donation of an appropriately large tree from the community-at-large. The tree should be an evergreen under 25 feet tall, and have easy access for removal. The citizen who donates a tree will be recognized at the tree lighting and the removal will be handled completely by city staff at no charge to them. Interested citizens should call Ric Barrick at 434-970-3129 or send an email at barrick@charlottesville.org.

Following the Grand Illumination, the Downtown Mall will be central to many holiday events that will be held through the rest of the year. Downtown for the Holidays will continue with various events until the end of December. A wide variety of entertainment is also planned along with First Night Virginia returning on the Thursday, December 31st for the annual New Year’s Eve Celebration downtown.  The public is also encouraged to attend the popular Holiday City Market held this year on the Water Street lots Saturdays from November 7th until December 19^th from 8am until 2pm.

The Charlottesville Tradition is co-sponsored by the City of Charlottesville and the Downtown Business Association of Charlottesville. For more information, contact Bob Stroh at 434-977-1812.

Q. So, in Charlottesville, when does a “holiday” tree become a “Christmas” tree?

A. When you’re planning to discard it!

Obtuse as they are, Charlottesville City government knows that few enlightened citizens would heed the call to dispose of a “holiday tree,” because no real person uses that term in real life. Thus, practicality rules the day when it’s time to throw Christmas trees away. The City’s December 28, 2009 media release illustrates the sad state of the “season” in adiamorphic Charlottesville, Virginia.

City of Charlottesville Offers Free Christmas Tree Pickup

Recycling Program Begins on Monday, January 11^th for City Residents

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VIRGINIA – The City of Charlottesville’s Public Works Department is offering free Christmas tree pick-up for City residents beginning on Monday January 11th.

City residents must have their tree, free of decorations, wires, stands, tinsel and nails, curbside by 7:00 a.m. on the 11th to ensure pick-up that week.  The trees will be recycled into mulch for use on City properties, including parks and trails.

For more information citizens are encouraged to call the Public Service Division at 970-3830.